December 2011
Those not out for the night, and those who live places where it isn’t new years eve yet should send me an ask so we can chat. I want to get to know all of my followers more!
It’s New Years Eve and I am spending it at home, alone. It is 35 degrees (Celsius), and disgusting outside so I don’t really mind. I am cooking vegan lasagne, I’ve got a kilo box of icy poles, and I plan on lounging on my couch and watching The L Word all night. I am such a boring 21 year old.
I will never get why, when you need some time alone to sort yourself out, rather than understanding and waiting, people just assume things and make themselves disappear from your life.
Sometimes I just cannot hide how I am feeling any longer, and I need to withdraw. It is never any thing personal, ever.
i accidentally left my ipod at mother’s. not being able to listen to the music i want to is currently driving me crazy.
“I live alone, entirely alone. I never speak to anyone, never; I receive nothing, I give nothing… When you live alone you no longer know what it is to tell something: the plausible disappears at the same time as the friends. You let events flow past; suddenly you see people pop up who speak and who go away, you plunge into stories without beginning or end: you make a terrible witness. But in compensation, one misses nothing, no improbability or story, each too tall to be believed in cafes.”
—Jean-Paul Sartre, La Nausée (via twotonmantaray)
i just made a giaaant vegan lasagne. now to lounge on the couch and watch the l word while it cooks. i cannot wait to eat it.
I am bored as hell
Follow my instagram - kimmbur
It has hit the point where, aside from family, I will only be leaving behind two people. Two people that are real friends. There are others that I might miss on occasion, but there has been zero effort made, so it is now nothing more. Two people. One of which would not even realize, and one who is everything to me.
This past week has been tough.
I need to force myself to get up and go to the gym, but all I want to do is lay on my couch all day, drinking coffee and reading my new book.
fuck tonight. fuck ‘friends’. fuck melbourne. fuck liars, and secrets. fuck all these years of me trying so hard. what is any of it even worth.
before jumping to conclusions, this is not about you, it is about everything.
it really is time for me to start my new life..
to anon - yeah I thought as much, and don’t worry, I’ve had my suspicions the whole time. thank you though.
can the person who just sent me an anon ask, msg me and tell me who they are, and who they are referring to. i will not publish it.
O'Sister'
City And Colour
What’s running through your veins, that’s causing you such pain?
Does it have something to do, with the pills they gave to you?
What is eating at your soul?
Was it the whispering ghost, that left you out in the cold?
But the blackness in your heart, won’t, last forever.
I know it’s tearing you apart
But it’s a storm you can weather.
- City And Colour - O’Sister
Just before my Aunty left to head back home to Noosa, she got online and bought me my flight for when I move there. I leave February 15th. Shit just got real guys.
The feeling of purchasing a one way flight to a different state is some what refreshing.
It is looking as though I will be spending New Years alone in my apartment.
I have drifted away from most people recently.. I will admit I have been at fault, but not completely. I am tired of life and the way people have become.
I just want him here, now. I want to be in Noosa, and I want being (staying) alive to stop being an effort.
I spent so much money on alcohol this week yet barely drank any myself. Most of it went to my brother because I just didn’t want it. One drink and I felt disgusting and hopelessly depressed. I just cannot deal with alcohol anymore.
I don’t know what happiness is at all, but despite that, I believe I am actually close to it. I think I am still just tired and lost, which is making it hard for me to always notice and feel the happiness.
